I have a blocked nose and am feeling a little snotty.
I’m certainly missing sweet fragrances and rich aromas, although not all smells will be welcomed back so lovingly. Isn’t it strange that the most organically abundant matter in the decay and decomposition, the phase of breaking down and returning to the cycle of life, tends to be quite the repellant.
Here is a selection dedicated to the olfactory organs, it’s bound to get up someone’s nose.
Corporate stink That fetid foul and feculent fusty funky fume with its methane and its sulphide can certainly clear a room that permeating parts per million pungent air polluting pong did nauseate the nasal passages of the office working throng out went all the emails with disbelief and such disgust drawing much attention to this malodorous musk so I thank you for your message out to all concerned and for the implied “stink master” title I have notoriously earned yes indeed, it was me I’m ashamed to say I removed the offending article and whisked that whiffy thing away. that salad, that was healthy once upon a time had rotted into a decaying mass of unappealing slime it had little hints of silage slightly pungent to the nose with subtle traces of ripened cheese and may be fungus from the toes the aroma of very sweaty armpits from a lunchtime jog around the lake a complex flavor profile mark my word make no mistake in hindsight looking back the food was reasonably contained and although the salad was disposed of the stink had still remained the topic of the morning tea it drove them around the bend just who had left this in the fridge? before the long weekend. there were fears of contamination and microscopic spores who knew there’d be such a stink and the outrage it would cause I underestimated this office crowd not the reaction I expected the fridge would need to be emptied out and chemically disinfected and who was going to do it this heinous cleaning task suggesting they wear some safety gear and put on an oxygen mask so spare a thought for me the cause of all this rot how my food became the topic the lunch that I forgot when my break was interrupted to address some pressing deal stored for a later opportunity to finish off that meal when the chance did not arise well it ’was just an oversight it was the last thing on my mind when I rushed out the door that night but silently and quietly with reparations made I've wiped and scrubbed and cleaned it up and with floral fragrance sprayed I did feel a little guilty it's how all this office gossip starts I wonder if they know it's me that drops the silent farts. Stink one ow… like a plague of locusts her immediate focus spun to this jokers thing. the thing that smokers never notice the atrocious halitosis discovered in the closeness of a kiss what is this? the smell they may as well lick the ashtray clean to get that taste of nicotine that stench that makes one teeth clench especially for the reformed addict who had it a rabid habit but now was an antagonist a fundamentalist an anti tobacconist preacher to the extreme prescribing the healthy dream the hiss and scowl disdain & growl the bane of the fowl and filthy smoker poor bloke what was he to think he only smoked when had a drink he only drank to socialize and as an introvert in his defense they were simply props for confidence a decision to strip away some inhibition a more comfortable position to proposition and unfortunately find an ex smoker. PUBS they complained about the smoking so they put a stop to it now pubs smell like farts and body odor and chuck and piss and shit and what about the air freshener from the ladies room I’m getting hints of lavender but it might be her perfume who is this little teenager Who has overdone the lynx he smells like a stale cake I’m not sure what he thinks It’s just as well but who can tell he’s gotta spray can in his bag I probably smell as high as hell I have been out for a fag And the shirt I wear was left too long in the washing machine It has got a musky whiff to it but I assure you it is clean The not so subtle tobacco stench with burps from boutique beer in all honesty, you could probably say I’m the smelliest munt in here. And no amount of beard oil, deodorant or cologne will mask that fact I'm odorous I’ll shower when I get home I’m picking it's green I was sitting in traffic, I was stuck at the lights casually gazing around taking in sites when a car pulled up in the lane next to me it drew my attention I wanted to see what was belting out tunes and thumping the bass I spied there beside me a cute looking face long blonde hair looked pretty and sweet a girl with long curls leaned forward in her seat checking the mirror and striking a pose and jamming her finger right up her nose she pulled out a booger with some kind of pride rolled down the window and flicked it outside she looked over toward me and saw that I ‘d seen she grinned and she winked then the lights turned to green It don’t stink Clean cut, pressed suit and wet behind the ears confident, he knows what's what but dimmer than he appears. It’s the collared shirt, the Windsor knot and a shiny pair of shoes he wants you to take him seriously but he hasn’t paid his dues. Where’s your influence or authority and proof that you can think? not this posing pretentious grandiose with shit that doesn’t stink Impress me with some charm and smarts show me you have nous or I’ll politely point you in a direction to f*ck off somewhere else Yeah ...that’s right buddy, I see you get back in your fancy car with your pinstripes and your handkerchief I don’t care who you are what’s that mate, you’re running late You’ve got somewhere to go? You’re getting married?, holy shit Congratulations bro.!! Twitter be like…. What are you gonna say about it What are you gonna do about it When you’re the only one The only one that knew about it Now everybody knows The way this story goes. One thousand sticky beaks And a great big nosey nose You know you're gonna hear about it They’ll all chew your ear about it They’ll tear you limb from limb Even if you do not care about it Word spreads like a forest fire broadcasting by phone In everybody's business When they should just mind their own I feel sorry for you bro But you know how it goes One thousand sticky beaks And a great big nosey nose Everybody has an opinion some righteous point of view You're buggered if you say nothing And you're buggered if you do Even if The facts aren't clear and the Gossip is untrue Once the stories broken There is fuck all you can do I feel sorry for you bro But you know how it goes One thousand sticky beaks And a great big nosey nose One thousand sticky beaks And a great big nosey nose. A little too picky a sticky secretion of elasticity a snot bungy swings freely from finger to snout much to the surprise of the occasional picker intrigued by its size and how far… it stretched out Wow…how unexpected and now caught without a hanky A sleeve or a tissue A social faux pas a predicament This is A bit of an issue although discrete and not noticed the hand is now tangled in the dangling glue hmm… exercise the subtle art of a graceful exit That's what I would do.