Sometimes I go off the rails and although out of character, I can string together rather pleasant little verses for Moms and Dads.
Family orientated Disney style content.
Insert sheepish grin.
The following are eight such examples from my archives.
1. the Kiss A butterfly did flutter by then landed on my cheek she whispered me "sweet nothings" and tickled with her feet I really did not know what to make of this she whispered in my ear that she had given me a kiss "why, thank you" I said as I blew her to the breeze "that's ok" she said "I have plenty more of these" with a flutter of her wings and a gust to help her rise she rose into the air and vanished before my eyes she drifted through the clouds across the sky she flew carrying a message this one I send to you sometimes the smallest things are the hardest to detect but it is a little kisses that create the butterfly effect. 2. Mite / might? That Ant in the sugar for your cup of tea that Moth on the screen when you’re watching the TV that Mosquito in your ear when you are trying to snooze that Blowfly that buzzes when you’re doing the poo’s the Cockroach that appears when washing yesterday’s dishes that Spider that drops down and frightens your missus that Mantis on the curtain when dusting the ledges that Weta on your sleeve when trimming the hedges that Sand fly in your eye when mowing the lawn round that pond of still water where the Midges are spawn the Weevils that appear when you bulk purchase grain that Snail that slid through the back door again the Nits in the hair the kids caught at school that Bee that you stood on when kicking the ball the Dog keeps scratching he’s covered in Fleas that Cricket that chirps when you just want some peace the maggots that appear when you miss rubbish day that nest full of wasps that won't go away they fly and they buzz they nip and they sting you’ll find these wee critters in everything you can swat them and shoo them, poison and spray but all those bugs will be back the very next day so if you think you’re too small to make an impact Is that really true? Is that a fact? If there’s something big that you want to do Ask yourself this, Am I bugging you? 3. Woofie.. He certainly won't fetch or sit and roll over but he'll occasionally play and sniff poo in the clover dig dirty great holes and mess up the place licking his bum then licking your face or burying his nose into some girls behind or any crutch of a visitor he happens to find get down, go away, leave them alone go sit on your mat, go chew your bone he dumps himself down wherever he pleases the drool and the hair, the slobber and sneezes that covers your furniture the drapes and the linen There is a trail of dirt from the room he's just been in with mud on his tail and mud on his paws chewing somebody's shoe, it’s probably yours as your blood starts to boil and you’ve yet to exhale he is sitting there grinning and wagging his tail. there’s a hole in the bag, there’s tux on the floor there is a rip in the curtains that was not there before out the back is a graveyard of half buried bones there are deflated balls and things you don’t own a minefield of potholes, shoes must be worn stinky dust bombs when you mow the lawn he farts at the table he dribbles and begs with big puppy eyes looking up from your legs bowling you over when you're in the way. taking your seat when you step away howling out loud in the middle of the night because something has moved and that isn't right there’s rips in the upholstery the woodworks been scratched the flap on the cat door is no longer attached but with all this in mind, at the end of the day he’s still pleased to see you ... and what do you say Good boy!! 4. it’s me ow in the crazy cat ladies lap sat a refined chap a fancy black cat that she’d stroke and she’d pat while it sat there licking its paws shedding its dander spreading the spores in mild subtle doses mad cat disease toxoplasmosis manifesting in a slight psychosis atrocious rendering the pet owner obedient to him with feline as the master dictating whim a flick of the tail or a rub on the shin fridge doors will open for the food that's within no longer needing to hunt in the wild this fluffy fur bag has become the surrogate child 5. Chirp Chirp The sparrow picked at breadcrumbs Can birds chew and bite? The owl saw it all with his eyes out in the night The magpie saw a glint and flew in for a closer look The curious one in the family of the raven, crow & rook The owl did holla hoot an echo in the park The magpie picked at the shiny thing that sparkled in the dark The owl spun his head around shimmied the branch he was upon the nervous sparrow flew away there was too much going on But... seriously what's up with beaks I don’t get what that’s about A big hard thing that’s on your face you use to peck, to get things out Wouldn’t you get a headache Using your head as a jack hammer A drill bit, a set of pliers a ratchet or a spanner Evolution eh, How do you explain these things? I guess it was the trade off to get that awesome set of wings. 6. critter . kill / critical . Those seventies trousers That tight shiny skirt that strap on your satchel that you take to work The shoes on your feet that belt around your waist that jacket they admired When they said you had taste Those seats in your car The flash couch at your pad That wallet in your pocket that designer handbag Animals died Gave all that they had to be stripped of their hide so you could look swag. 7. the rush Twisted candy wheel mounted on a stick rainbow swirly colours, ready for a lick. coated in saliva, super sugar sweet toddler pacifier, or good behaviour treat sticky little face, with food colouring little sticky hands, touching everything like furniture, curtains, Up walls, to a certain height on doors, on toys, on the other boys, on everything in sight that kids got my Tonka truck, “I want to play with that” “Give it back”, he snatches it, and throws a tantrum on the mat discarded in an instant, left where it was dropped now no one wants to suck, the sandpit Lollipop.. 8. the grin he had just painted himself an artistic looking grin using the suspicious brown play dough, from the potty it was in happy with his work and positively beaming oblivious to the horror the sound of other people screaming running around the room, no one could make him stop until out of his eye, he happened to spy, the sandpit lollipop.